By Scott Polacek:
It seems like I’m always thinking about sports. Whether I’m in class (rest assured, teachers don’t read sports blogs), out to dinner, or just hanging out, there’s a fairly decent chance sports is going to cross my mind at one point or another. I will not apologize for this. As Lady Gaga would say, I was born this way.
Which gets me to my point (wait, Lady Gaga got me to my point? Maybe I should have come up with a different point). I was watching the Grammys last week, or, as my sports brain would see it, music’s answer to the Super Bowl. At some point during the show I decided that I wanted to compare some of the stars in the music world to those in the sports world. I was so excited about this idea that I got around to it a week later.
As a forewarning, I know very little about music. Again, since I am always thinking about sports, there isn’t much room left in my brain for these trivial things. Seeing as how I really don’t have much more than a basic collection of musical knowledge, I am clearly the perfect person to write a blog post centered on musical stars and their sports counterparts. Here we go.
Paul McCartney/Michael Jordan: Why not start at the top? McCartney built a musical dynasty with just a little help from his friends. Perhaps you have heard of his old group? It was called the Beatles. Even I’ve heard of them. McCartney accomplished so much in his prime, with a talented group of “teammates,” that he still turns heads everywhere he goes. In fact, McCartney, even at his age, was still the closing act at this year’s Grammys. He has always been, and always will be, a headliner.
Just like McCartney, no matter how far past his prime he is, Jordan will always be the headliner. There is no arguing with his accomplishments. The Air Jordan brand, and everything that comes with it, is the sports world answer to Beatle-mania. He even had a little help from his friends in Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman.
Justin Bieber/Tim Tebow: Look, there is no middle ground when it comes to Bieber or Tebow. On one hand, you have your “Beliebers,” who worship everything the young star does. On the other hand, you have everyone else, who recognizes that when it comes to musical talent alone, Bieber has some work to do. Sound a little bit like a certain quarterback that burst onto the NFL scene this past season? Bonus comparison – the teenage girls clamoring and screaming for Bieber sound just like Skip Bayless crooning for Tebow every morning on ESPN.
Adele/LeBron: This may be a bit of a stretch, especially considering how easy it is to hate LeBron and how genuine Adele seems, but bear with me. Neither Adele nor LeBron really has any use for a last name (does anyone know if Adele even has a last name?), and both are as talented as they come. Adele’s Grammy winning album was inspired by a tumultuous relationship, which ultimately ended in what I can only assume was a nasty breakup. Kind of how LeBron had that nasty breakup thing with Cleveland. Of course, Adele didn’t stab her boyfriend in the back on national television like some kind of nail-biting clown, but I digress. Furthermore, if Adele’s breakup and LeBron’s breakup are to be compared, then that would make the city of Cleveland the forgettable boyfriend that nobody really knows or cares about. Sounds about right.
Rihanna/Eli Manning: As far as poppish, Billboard-ish, and hear every single day on the radio-ish music, Rihanna is untouchable right now. She has the looks, star power, and popularity, and is undoubtedly enjoying her time in the limelight. Is she the most talented musician out there? Probably not. Is she going to be looked back upon as legend one day? I highly doubt it, although again, I know nothing about music, so who knows.
Right now, Eli is on top of the NFL world. Just like Rihanna, he’s not the most talented quarterback of the entire bunch and he will never be looked back at as one of the best ever, but nobody can take away his spotlight today. Maybe they’ll run into each other at Disney World.
Eminem/Urban Meyer: Look, you had to know I was going to work my Buckeye homerism in here somehow. But we’ll get to Urban in a second. Eminem took the rap scene by storm right from the start. He did things his own way, wasn’t afraid to piss people off, and climbed to the top. However, after his best friend tragically died, Eminem plunged into depression and battled a prescription pill addiction, going relatively unheard from for a few years. But after rehabbing and becoming sober, he released the critically acclaimed and Billboard crushing album Recovery, ultimately helping Slim Shady sell more albums than any other musician during the 2000s. He’s reclaimed his title as the king of rap.
Just like Eminem, it did not take long for Meyer to make his mark. He crashed the BCS at Utah by leading the first non-BCS team to make it to and win a BCS bowl game (kind of how a white kid burst onto the traditionally African American dominated rap scene). Before long, Urban was holding up the crystal football as a national champion coach. However, he battled his own demons, as he stressed out so much about football that he nearly killed himself with heart complications. Meyer took some time off – a rehabilitation of his own with his family – but is now back and ready to reclaim his spot on top of the throne. Or at least I hope he is.
Kanye West/Randy Moss: The only thing that is really standing in Kanye’s way of becoming a rap icon is himself. Through his sheer craziness, his now infamous Taylor Swift interruption, and his unnatural level of cockiness (this has to be an act, right? Can anyone really be that full of themselves?), any conversation concerning Kanye’s place among rap legends seems to come with a disclaimer.
Enter Randy Moss. He ranks among the best wide receivers of all time. He even had a legend mentor him early in his career in Cris Carter (a la Kanye receiving help from Jay-Z). But that sheer craziness has always overshadowed Moss at every stop of his career. He’s even had plenty of defining crazy moments to match West’s interruption of Swift’s acceptance speech. There was the squirting the water bottle at the referee, the mooning of the Green Bay Packer crowd (which, admittedly was awesome), and the time he said he would pay his ten thousand dollar fine with ‘straight cash homey.’ Both talented, both crazy.
Madonna/Derek Jeter: Madonna was born in Michigan and Jeter grew up there, but let’s not hold that against them. Of course, it is funny to listen to a Michigan-born woman sometimes try to pretend that she has a British accent, but that’s not the point. You can’t argue against Madonna’s career success. She is a mega star and certainly an icon for her generation, but it seemed a bit odd that she was performing at the Super Bowl at her age. Yes, she is past her prime today, but she will probably always remain a music legend.
Jeter too is a bit past his prime. He’s slower to ground balls in the hole and struggles to hit the way he used to, but he will always be an icon. He ranks among the best Yankees of all time and is renowned for his clutch performances in the playoffs and World Series. Not to mention, he has a fairly impressive list of exes, consisting of many celebrities and rich and famous. I’m sure Madonna can say the same.
Lady Gaga/Alex Rodriguez: Speaking of Madonna’s exes, how about Alex Rodriguez? The self-absorbed baseball star is certainly an all-star caliber player, but as long as he’s in New York, he will never escape Jeter’s shadow. Similarly, Lady Gaga will never escape from Madonna’s shadow. Many critics claim that Gaga is talented but is a generic rip-off of Madonna, following in her footsteps at every turn (hey, look, she followed Madonna on this list. I am so clever. Not an accident at all). Furthermore, Gaga would probably stoop to any level to get some attention, including wearing a dress made out of meat. Only an athlete that actually has pictures of himself as a centaur (half-man, half-horse) hanging in his house could understand that level of attention seeking behavior. Thanks for that mental image A-Rod.
Lil Wayne/Everyone and everything ever at Duke: Wildly overrated by the media and their fans. And that’s all I have to say on the matter.
*From: http://www.thegrayway.net/post/866194698/sports-and-music-are-so-synonymous-feature
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